Kelli Canfield

Okay. . . bad news. At least I thought that way at first. But, really it will end up as good news. Good news that God has done a work in my heart and taught me an important lesson. It’s one that He’s taught me before, but it seems like I haven’t quite caught on. And to be honest, I will probably need a few more lessons like this before it’s all over.

Date nights are important–especially to me. I’m selfish, and it never seems like I get all the date nights with Robert I want. But, then again, if I could have all the date nights I want, we would have one every night. With that said, nothing would ever get accomplished, and then date night would no longer be special.

Without boring you with details–I’ve been arranging (and rearranging) our schedules to try to fit in a date night (or afternoon) the past few days. And something has come up each time. And each time I have wanted to get upset about it and pitch a fit inside (and maybe a litte to my husband, also!) about not getting my way.

But, God is so good to use circumstances to show me that my silly little date night–although a wonderful thing for my marriage–should not become so important that I allow it to blind me to the needs of others.

Let me explain. I wanted a date night Saturday night. Robert needed to finish polishing up his lesson for the teens on Sunday. Okay. That’s a good thing–a needful thing. I will wait. And God showed me that I have a wonderful man of God that will put his own desires aside to make sure he does the right thing and honors God the right way. I don’t want a man like Nadab and Abihu who would be willing to offer strange fire–carnal worship–to the Lord. Lesson 1. Give up your selfish desires Kelli, so that your husband can be used to bring God glory.

Sunday afternoon–a relaxing date time with my husband? No–lesson 2. Taking some kids home from church after the service. Normal activity. Overheard the girls talking about some issues in their home life. Robert uses it as an opportunity for us to minister to these young people. We take them out to lunch. The girls share some things with us, and I am able to point them to what God’s word says about the situation. Lesson 2. Give up your selfish desires Kelli, so that you may have an opportunity to model a Christ honoring marriage for these young ladies and help them learn how to biblically deal with situations in their lives.

Okay, Sunday night–definitely date night after church??? Lesson 3. Godly women must be given to hospitality. Invite people over and fellowship. A man that has friends must show himself friendly. As iron sharpens iron–so does a friend sharpen a friend. Chris Gardner joins. He and the guys talk about ministry. Robert asks questions and learns more about what a man of God should be like. Lesson 3. Give up your selfish desires Kelli, so that God may do an even bigger work in your husband’s heart.

Monday night then? Maybe? Lesson 4. Roberts spends his day off from class and work helping get the Gardner’s get moved up to Tennessee. He gets stuck in traffic, and it looks like he won’t be home until late tonight. Lesson 4. Give up your selfish desires Kelli and notice again one of the things that made you fall in love with your husband–his willingness to sacrifice his selfish desires for the good of others. Learn from his example. Know that your husband loves people, and it’s through that love that God is using and will use him to to great things for His glory. Love your husband for the right reasons–not just because he gives you your way.

I am sure that I have been way to honest and transparent. But I really am so excited about how the Lord has worked in my heart over the last few days! The Lord has showed me an area in my life which I need Him to fix. And He has lovingly and firmly showed me my sinful attitudes. I am so thankful that He loves us enough to work out the negative attitudes and teach us the right way to look at things! I would not have wanted my husband to have made any other choices than what he did. He made all the right choices, and I appreciate his leadership so much!