Love Mercy

May 6, 2009 at 11:08 am (Biblical womanhood, Lessons Learned, Marriage)

It’s been a long time coming, but here is the third installment on lessons I am learning in becoming a gracious woman.

Micah 6:8  He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?

While all three requirements are difficult to live by, the first one–do justly–seems to come the least difficult to me. The second one–love mercy–seems infinitely more difficult. I tend to desire fairness to the point that mercy is often crowded out. One reason I am so thankful for my husband is that he is merciful. And he has taught me more about mercy than anyone else ever has (and corrected me many times, as well!)

When I am not merciful, I am forgetting the tremendous mercy that Christ has shown me. When I demand justice and fairness, I am forgetting what consequences were truly fair for me. I have not even come close to receiving the consequences I have earned. Christ took those consequences on Himself when He died for my sins. And then, through His mercy, He has made me into something I could have never become on my own–His own.

So, I would say that in the times I want most desperately to demand fairness and justice, I should remember that I, who was most deserving to reap the conseqences of my sin, received mercy. And it’s probably those times that I want justice the most that I should give mercy in return.

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Micah 6:8

April 7, 2009 at 10:30 am (Biblical womanhood, Lessons Learned, Marriage, Ministry)

Micah 6:8 states “He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?”

I shared in the previous post that I would be quite enthusiastic about making sure we all follow the first requirement of doing justly. But, if I really think about it, I probably would only be enthusiastic about what I considered to be just. And that would put me right where the Israelites were at the end of Judges where “every man did that which is right in his own eyes.” I would imagine that many of us–myself entirely included–need to be so careful in this area–especially that we don’t demand things of others that God Himself doesn’t demand. I have fallen into that trap many times and have often been the cause of hurt in doing so.

I think another pitfall regarding the “do justly” requirement that I find myself falling into again and again is not understanding that this requirement is personalized. What does the Lord require of thee–of me? It is not “What does the Lord require of everyone around me?” This verse does not make me the “do justly” police. The only requirement is that I do justly–that I do the right thing. (And I think that if I would work harder on making sure I am doing the right thing, I just might see less need for the “do justly” police!)

For example, if Robert has done something to hurt my feelings, my reaction should no be to get emotional and demand that he make things right and point out every area he needs to personally fix in his life to make our marriage better. Instead, my appropriate response should be for me to do the just thing–the right thing–to be a sweet, loving and gracious wife and not become that boisterous and clamorous woman that Proverbs warns us about.

And as a little preview of the next requirement, I believe that as I begin to understand more about my responsiblity to do justly, I might just begin to grow to love mercy a little more than I do now. But, more on that topic another time. . .

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Becoming a gracious woman

March 27, 2009 at 11:14 am (Biblical womanhood, Lessons Learned)

I am learning more and more about the grace of God and how we learn to become gracious people as we grow in Him. And I am learning how as I grow in Him and become more gracious, my relationships with others strengthen and grow deeper.

Anyone who knows me even a little would agree that I tend to choose justice over mercy. But God is both just and merciful and perfect in both. And all too often we humans tend to lean more toward one than toward the other. I confess that I err on the side of demanding justice more often than showing mercy. However, there is a balance between the seeming paradox of displaying both characteristics.

Micah 6:8 states “He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly and love mercy, and to walk humbly with they God?”

I would be the first to jump up and down insisting that we all follow the first requirement. But I have to admit I wouldn’t be so enthusiastic about the other two. And the other two are just as elemental in my walk with the Lord and my growth in Him as the first one is.

I think the best example to use in writing about how I am learning to be a gracious woman would be my relationship with my husband. The Lord has given me a wonderful man. And we are the exact opposite. I am demanding and high-strung. He is laid back and flexible. I am calendar and detail driven. He is spontaneous. I choose justice. He is merciful. I am many times unthoughtful. He is compassionate. And please don’t take those observations the wrong way. All of these differences are wonderful! I love Robert’s compassion and mercy. I love his spontanaity. I love that he is flexible and can “roll with the punches” so to speak. But, I do have to be careful that those things that helped me fall in love with my husband don’t actually become things that I get annoyed with. And if I get annoyed, then these differences serve to show me where I need to become more gracious.

I would like to take some blog posts within the next few days to write about some lessons I have learned and still am learning from Micah 6:8. I admit that I visit that verse often and thought I would share what God is doing in my heart through it. I would love for you to comment back and share your thoughts as well!!!

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Learning to be a Godly Wife–final

February 16, 2009 at 12:59 pm (Biblical womanhood, Lessons Learned, Ministry)

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5

Obedient to their own husbands: I know it’s been a long time coming to finish this verse–frankly because I know what a difficult thing it is for me to do this last part. I also know that I’m not the only one who has struggled with the obedience issue. Even if no one today struggles with it–I know some ladies in the Bible who did. Just my speculation here–but since it’s such a difficult thing, maybe that’s why it’s last on this list? If we would have read this part first, we may have given up on the rest!

Obedience is not just the action of doing what my husband asks of me. He could ask me to do something–but if I don’t have the right heart attitude about it, even if I do it, there is still rebellion and disobendience in my heart. I think eye service is just as wrong and displeasing as no service at all. We’ve all heard the illustration about the kid who was told to stop jumping in the house. The story goes that he obeyed and stopped jumping but made sure his mom knew that he may not be jumping on the outside, but inside he sure was! How many times do I outwardly do things that please my husband all the while having the exact opposite heart attitude? I must be on guard about eye service.

One other thing I have learned about men since being married–men desire respect from their wives as much as we desire love  and security. Think about how much it hurts your feelings when your husband speaks to you in a harsh and unloving manner. I would think I’m right when I say it’s pretty crushing. Just as a tender and loving response is critical for us, our respect is critical for them. And what better way to show admiration and respect than to do things that would please him and have the right heart attitude about it? Okay, I’m sure I have dug myself a hole here, so I think I’m done.

The conclusion of the matter: The last part of this passage cuts me to the core. And it should cut every ladyto the core who loves God and wants to honor Him with her life as well. That the word of God be not blasphemed. I wonder how often we ladies think about this–the world mocks us. We know that. Christ told us we would be hated. But do we realize that the world mocks God Himself? And all too often, we Christians are to blame for that. How often do I let people know that I want to be a woman of God’s word and then behave in a manner opposite of what He demands? Do I realize that when I do that, I give those who don’t know my God an opportunity to ridicule Him and degrade Him? That they think or even say, “She says she loves God, but I don’t see her doing what He says. He must not be as great of a God as she claims. If she loved him like she says she does, why would she react like that or say those things?” May God in heaven forgive me for the times I have been used as the instrument to cause others to mock the name of my Savior.

Okay, I hope you all don’t hate me for those things I’ve written. God has taught me so much through this little study, and I only hope I can be a help.

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Learning to be a Godly Wife–cont.

February 10, 2009 at 9:43 am (Biblical womanhood, Lessons Learned, Ministry)

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5

Good: I think that here I should learn to be kind. I would not consider myself a very sweet lady many times. I do work on it and have asked the Lord to make me into a sweet lady. I struggle a lot with thoughtfulness. Robert has been sick this week. I have too, but not nearly as sick as he has been. Saturday mornings, Robert gets up early to pick up bread for our food ministry. And this past Saturday, he was horribly sick. He ended up getting out of bed to get the bread for our food ministry and then came home and crashed. The kicker about it all was that it didn’t even cross my mind to get up before him and take care of that responsibility. A “good” wife–as in one who is thoughtful, kind, and striving to do good things for her husband–just might have thought to do that. I know, some of you will say, “But, there’s already so much you do for your husband.” And I might want to agree at times. But, I think that there is always room for improvement. I want to learn to be “good”–to be kind, thoughtful, friendly, and considerate. Not only to my husband, but also to others. I think it even reaches further–how about being kind, considerate, thoughtful, caring, friendly and loving to those who in my mind don’t deserve such treatment? For those of you who know me well, you’ll understand what I mean when I say I tend to want justice more often than mercy. And I think that part of me learning to be good is loving the merciful things. I think that’s a good step in the direction of being thoughtful and good.

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Learning to be a Godly Wife–cont.

February 6, 2009 at 8:55 am (Biblical womanhood, Lessons Learned, Ministry)

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5

Chaste: This word has many implications. In general, it refers to purity. A godly lady will want to keep herself pure–sexually, yes; however, this chastity goes further, I believe. She should want to keep her thought life pure. She should want to dress in a manner that would help keep other’s thoughts pure. Concerning dress, which will I think I will talk about in more detail at a later time, a woman’s attitudes toward her Lord and this world are most often reflected in the clothing she adorns herself with. I am not saying we should look frumpy. We should alway strive to look our best. But, all too often we women use that as an excuse for immodesty.  A godly lady should also want to maintain a faithfulness to her husband that cannot be questioned. Her purity should be to the level that her husband’s heart will safely trust in her so that he would have no need of spoil.

Keepers at home: This is a touchy one, for sure! My job is quite demanding and I work at least fifty hours a week–sometimes on Saturday even. I have to admit, I fail often at being a keeper of the home. I don’t contend that we must all be housewives, but I do believe that my home should be the source of the most encouragement, sanctuary and relief for my husband. And I am sure he doesn’t find much relief when he comes home to find clothes that have yet to be hung up. Or to see a sink full of dishes that still need to be cleaned. I struggle with the balance of work, home and ministry everyday. And all to often I let one go to tackle another. And I know that if I struggle with it, most likely, there is someone else out there that does the same. It’s my prayer though, that I would place keeping my home higher on my priority list. God placed it pretty high on His.

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Learning to be a Godly Wife–cont.

February 4, 2009 at 9:16 am (Biblical womanhood, Lessons Learned, Ministry)

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5

Some lessons I am learning about what it means to be a godly wife:

To love their children: I don’t have children yet. But I understand there are some things I can be doing to prepare myself for loving my children biblically. I can prepare myself by already loving the children in my church. I have the awesome privelege of teaching the 3-6 year olds in children’s church. And I have learned so much about what loving a child means. It means loving unconditionally and sacrificially. Not based on merit, appeal or anything else at all. It means that I should be extremely concerned about the salvation and spiritual growth of the children. It means that I should show them the good and warn them of the bad. Teach them what sin is. And if I can learn to do that with someone else’s child, how much more should I be able to do that with my own children.

To be discreet: Wow, it seems like the list is getting harder! Discretion is a difficult thing for most of us who love to talk. We get ourselves in trouble way too easily. Discretion is simply making right decisions, using common sense–having wisdom to know what is appropriate. I have failed many times at not being discreet in a group and have embarrassed myself and my husband. James tells us that we should be swift to hear and slow to speak. I truly believe that if I would just hold my tongue a few seconds longer in certain situations, I just might be able to honor and please the Lord a little better. I would defeinitely benefit greatly from using discretion in my relationship with my husband. How often do I make a comment in a fit of emotion that ignites an argument? How often could I be spared those arguments if I just learn what is appropriate to say and when?

more following. . .

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Learning to be a Godly Wife

February 3, 2009 at 9:56 am (Biblical womanhood, Lessons Learned, Ministry)

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5

While a godly wife’s responsibility is to make sure her walk with God is complete, she must also care for the things of her home. Her responsibilities also reach further than the home in that she is commanded to teach other ladies as well. When a woman willingly and eagerly follows the mandates given here in Titus, she will honor and please the Lord.

Some things I need to be teaching others—not only in lessons, but also in example:

To be sober—I should be sensible. Not ready to jump on the coattails of my emotions. While God has given ladies a more emotional makeup than He did men, that is no excuse for flying off into fits of anger or despair. God also gave me logic to understand things in a sensible, not-too-emotional manner.

To love their husbands—I should love my husband. Passionately. Actively. Spiritually. Emotionally. Biblically. Will there be times I find him unlovable? Most likely. Will there be times I don’t want to try anymore? I have to admit that’s already happened and I have only been married a little over a year. But here’s what I have to do when those feelings come up. First, I must confess it to God as sin. Why? Because I made a commitment before Him that I would love this man until the death parts us. That I would honor and cherish him. The next step is to dive right into serving my husband and doing every good thing I can possibly imagine doing for him. Learning to please him. And when I have invested my whole life in him—I just might say to myself the next time I want to give up, “You have put too much into this guy to stop trying now.” In time, the excitement of marriage won’t be at the same level it was in the beginning. Early in marriage is the time to learn how to love your husband biblically. It’s only that kind of love that will hold it all together.

More to come. . .

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My role in my husband’s ministry–Part 1

January 31, 2009 at 11:06 pm (Biblical womanhood, Lessons Learned, Ministry)

My pastor, Austin Gardner, wrote a blog post about a missionary wife’s role in her husband’s ministry. You can read his post by clicking here. I think that you would do just fine to read his blog, but there are a few things that I want to point out that I have learned or am working on learning even now before we get to the mission field. I also think that many of these principles would apply to all ladies who strive to please the Lord.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Titus 2:3-5

First of all, I think that the first section deals a lot with my “be” level–the woman I am when no one is looking–that I “be in behavior as becometh holiness.” I will do a tremendous disservice to the Lord, myself, my husband, and to any lady who may look at me as an example if I do not make sure I am pleasing the Lord even when noone is paying attention. I must serve as a good model of many things–of how to be a good wife, a good mother, a good homemaker, diligent in growing my walk with the Lord.

Second, I think that the second section deals with the “do” and “serve” levels–the woman that everyone else sees. How will I be a good model of a godly wife not only if I am not who I should me, but also especially if other people cannot see me doing and serving how I should? Titus says that we should be “not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things”–just a few things that will display themselves to others.

Finally, I think the last part of this verse applies to the “train” level–the woman who shows other women how to please the Lord–”That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands.”

It’s my desire that I would one day be able to teach other women these things. But I realize first that I have a great responsibility to be working on my “be”, “do” and “serve” levels. I want to please the Lord in what I do, but I don’t want to step out of order.

I’m convinced that the order of this passage is not a coincidence. How can I ever expect other ladies to learn from me if they can’t already see a godly example. And how can I ever show a godly example if I am not pleasing the Lord with a godly character when there is no one at all paying attention?

I hope to post more about this topic within the next few days. . .

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Check it out. . .

December 9, 2008 at 1:27 pm (Biblical womanhood, Lessons Learned, Ministry)

I would like to encourage all of the ladies who read this blog to visit another blog that I enjoy reading very much.

The site is www.empoweredtraditionalist.com.

The young lady who writes on this blog has a wisdom beyond her years, and I think it would be good for those of us who try to honor God with our lives to know that there are many others out there who strive for the same thing. Take a few minutes and check out her blog. I promise it will be well worth your time!

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